Life is Not About Studies and Work, But the Special Moments in Time that Crystalise the Meaning of Our Lives…

Studying is to grant you knowledge and skills that create your individual capabilities.

With these capabilities you can then find work, to integrate with the larger society, and build up money + other resources/assets to become independent.

With independence, you can then intentionally steer your paths in Life, be it to see the world, gather knowledge, do good, or start a family.

Your pursuit of purpose and meaning then create those special moments in your life journey.

So, start building your circles of friends, and co-create some meaningful moments that will strengthen the bonds.

Because you will be facing a crazy world when you graduate, and it is always better to tackle the weirdness of the world… with friends.

What If I am Anti-Social and Have No Friends?

Aww… that’s so sad. 😭 Will you like me to cry for you or will you like to fix that?

If you are anti-social and sad, follow these steps to begin exposing yourself to environments where you can slowly learn to make friends.

Suggestion 1: Find a Co-Curricular Activity (CCA)

You can check out Institute of Technical Education (ITE) - College West (CW)’s CCA SharePoint page.
Ref: https://connectiteedu.sharepoint.com/sites/ITECollegeWest-StudentDevelopment/SitePages/CCA.aspx?ga=1

Suggestion 2: Participate in Class Gatherings and Events Planning Committee

We will aim to organise at least 2 class gatherings every year where you can gather.

Remember to attend and contribute to the planned activities.

Get your classmates to know you exist.

If you are too shy, just hang around the BBQ pit (food areas) and cook (serve) for us. You can then chat with ppl as they beg for food.

This is the same concept as when you are hunting in the jungle, identify where the watering holes that your prey gathers.

So far in year 1, we have one BBQ outing at the 1st half of the year. Let’s plan another BBQ in Sep or Dec holiday period.

We will try to continue the tradition in year 2 or 3, or plan for something different.

Ideas are appreciated but do take note that it is not all talk (you are not training to be a snake oil sales person).

When you bring up ideas and they are accepted by the class, you will become part of the team that leads and bring the ideas to life.
(Refer to Section 6: Learning How to Do What's Planned)

Suggestion 3: Reconnect with Your Old Secondary and Primary School Friends

If they were your friends once, that means you must have found some common aspects which allows you to be around each other in the past.

I know some of you are like super emo, thinking that no one will want to stay friends after you go ITE. ⚡🎭💔

But have you ever think that your friends may just be scared to contact you because they know you will emo, and then they may accidentally emotional damage you by saying the wrong things?

Try to be the one that reach out first. Show them that you are okay.

Organise outings and reconnect with them if they didn’t reach out first.

This is better than you staying at home during holidays and mope, then I have to fix your emotions when you come back to school.

Now, for those with Special Needs e.g., Autism, Anxiety Attacks, Fear of Crowds, Depression…

Suggestion 4: Find People That Are The Same As You

It may surprise you, but you are not the only ones with certain conditions, that block you from being able to talk to people, without your mind being stressed out.

These conditions have the potential to affect your mood, your studies and your quality of life interactions with others.

You will need to overtime find a way to overcome and resolve these barriers, before you can really start to tap on your potential.

Use the following suggestions from 1, 2, 3 to start talking to your classmates. You may find that you have more in common with them then you realise.

There are a few methods to overcome shyness, fear of crowds, fear of people. Let me share one with you.

Method 1: Desensitization of [Fear of Crowd]

For people with Autism that have sensitive hearing, [Fear of Crowd] may come from the noise which may mess with the way you think.

For people that was bullied before, crowded places may trigger your panic attacks.

In psychology, Desensitization is a process where you slowly modify how your sensitivity to certain triggers can be slowly decreased or normalised.

If your trigger is crowd and people.

• Find people similar as you, maybe 3-4.
• Scout for a place where there are an on-going flow of people, that is not too crowded.
• Together, go and sit there for an hour. Listen, feel and control your reactions.
• Do this consistently, maybe once a week.

When you feel you have better control, scout for a new environment with more noise and more people.

Repeat the sequence of desensitization.

The reason why you should do this in group, is so that your friends can help support you if you lose control.

Overtime, you will get the hang of controlling your reactions because it will become a habit.

Allowing you to numb your sensitivity in this area.

It takes time and consistent effort, to do updates and patches to your human operating system (OS).

I Don’t Need Those Advice, I Have No Problem Talking And Making Friends…

If you have friends but don’t find time to build bonds with them, then over time those bonds will weaken, and you will be strangers who used to know each other.

A few ideas for you to use, to generate events to maintain those friendships.

Event 1: Study Groups

So, what if you don’t study the same subjects as your friends.

Someone needs to find that seats in the library and look after those laptops.

Organise a study group and check out what your friends are studying at the same time.

Who knows, that extra knowledge into a new domain could be useful.

Event 2: Holiday Jobs

Holiday jobs help you earn some pocket money and get used to working in the outside world.

Some of your earlier holiday jobs is likely discovered through your friend network.

Just check-in with your parents to let them assess those jobs.

You may still be too young to detect job scams, and there are some bad people in the world.

Don't take everything your friends said as the truth, if you are the same age, they are about as smart and as dumb as you are.

Remember to tap on the wisdom and advice of old people.

Event 3: Group Projects

Maybe you are teaching tuition and saw something you can help create for kids from disadvantaged families.

So, you gather your friends to work on an app that kids can install to learn new content.

As you go through life, you may find opportunities to create things outside of your studies or work which you know you cannot do alone.

When that happens, friends who can help you bring that dream, that idea to life, will be those you can reach out to first.

This will be one way to keep in touch with your friends as well.

Event 4: Go Movies

You need me to explain this?

If you allowance is limited. Then consider Event 2: Holiday Jobs.

Event 5: Find a Common Sports Activity to Do As a Weekly Activity

Sports bring people together.

But you may have lazy friends, if so this may not be the event for you to plan.

Event 6: Remember their Birthdays

A birthday message when you cannot meet is better than nothing.

Family is Important Too…

As you learn how to maintain and build friendships with your peers. Remember that your family is important too.

A home is not just a place for you to eat, sleep and stay.

Home is not a hotel, it is where your family are.

So, remember to make time for them.